Earlier this year, one of my HR consulting clients came to me with a common workplace problem.
The client—an owner of a large roastery with tens of thousands of pounds in weekly volume, as well as multiple cafes—told me about an employee named Alfred. Alfred was, in so many ways, an asset to the company. He had started at the roastery doing production assistance, bagging and labeling coffees. As the business grew, he was able to take on more responsibilities that helped increase the roastery’s capacity to receive green coffee and ship roasted coffee.
Eventually, the owners created a dedicated role for Alfred, and appointed him the roastery’s warehouse coordinator. He demonstrated incredible capabilities by managing the flow of green coffee, roasted coffee, and other retail goods in and out of the warehouse. The warehouse itself was immaculate, the complex operations ran smoothly, and Alfred had a tremendous work ethic.
There was just one problem: Alfred had serious communication issues. Three employees had contacted the owners to express concern over their interactions with Alfred. They said his responses to their questions often felt curt and condescending. He took an us-versus-them mentality, aligning with the warehouse workers against those involved in the retail operation, making them feel unwelcome when they came to the roastery. While some of Alfred’s coworkers enjoyed working with him, it was clear that he had rubbed enough people the wrong way that his communication issues needed to be addressed.
The owners asked me to meet with Alfred, and it became clear that a simple write-up wouldn’t be enough to address his communication issues. In my initial meeting with him, I wanted to strike a balance between allowing him to respond to the accusations from his colleagues while establishing what was acceptable communication in the workplace. Alfred was initially defensive, but we agreed on a performance improvement plan (PIP) that would last 60 days and involve communication training.
Alfred’s PIP, shared with permission and anonymized to protect him and the company, taught both of us a lot about how to strengthen communication skills and improve peer interactions in the workplace. The need to coach communication is particularly relevant to growing businesses, where different personalities are bound to clash.
There are plenty of lessons to take from what Alfred and I discussed. I’m highlighting three key strategies that will give business leaders and their employees a solid foundation for positive workplace communication.
Point #1: Active Listening
One of Alfred’s biggest communication obstacles stemmed from the fact that he was good and efficient at his job. He liked to get tasks done promptly and get right to the point when discussing work. That meant he would cut off people to make clarifying remarks or finish their statements.
While this habit sped up some interactions, his coworkers left many conversations feeling disrespected. Alfred said he would often do another employee’s task if he thought it was quicker than explaining how to do it. As a result, his colleagues weren’t learning, and he was becoming resentful of doing more than his fair share of work.
Alfred needed to slow down. We began communication training by exploring the key concepts of active listening, a highly effective tool in the workplace that encourages slower, engaged, and respectful dialogue. Here are some of the basics of active listening:
Paraphrasing
When talking to coworkers, it’s crucial to hear them out and understand what they’re trying to tell you. Allow people to finish their thoughts, and then paraphrase what you think they said. This strategy helps you get on the same page, and goes a long way toward making your coworkers feel heard.
You can try this by saying, “What I hear you saying is …” Then, paraphrase what you heard, and ask if your summary was correct. Your colleague may realize they need to provide additional context as a result—or they may be able to work out their issue in the process of clarifying it.
Pause and Evaluate
Jumping in to solve an issue, give unsolicited advice, or provide information, even if well intended, can make your coworker feel disrespected or talked down to. Taking a beat after they have brought an issue to you or asked a question allows you to fully absorb what they’re saying, ask clarifying questions, or teach them how to do something that will make everyone’s jobs easier.
Show Empathy and Avoid Judgment
Active listening isn’t just about the moment you’re chatting with someone—active listening also requires empathy.
We can’t relate to every experience a coworker has, particularly if they’re struggling with a task we find easy. It’s important to recognize that there may be unseen factors affecting someone’s ability to work or communicate clearly. We don’t need to know the specifics to show empathy.
Point #2: Sugarcoating Versus Tailoring
When I told Alfred how his communication style made his colleagues feel, he initially thought he would have to sugarcoat his words in all of his interactions with colleagues. I took his use of the word “sugarcoat” to mean that he felt he had to be inauthentic to communicate with his coworkers.
If you’re struggling with the tone of your words, the answer isn’t to change your personality or disguise your meaning. Instead, I thought Alfred could benefit from understanding how his colleagues best receive information and constructive criticism, and tailoring his communication style as a result.
For some people, direct styles of communication work best. I personally do well with direct communication, and don’t take sharper tones personally. Other people need a little more time, relaxed body language, and a softer tone in order to work well with their colleagues.
Recognizing that cultural differences can sometimes make communication seem offensive or disrespectful also helps us become more compassionate colleagues.
Point #3: Curiosity and Asking Questions
For the vast majority of people, defensiveness is the default reaction to confrontation. We’re hardwired to protect ourselves from danger, even if the perceived danger might be something low-stakes, like workplace criticism and feedback.
But defensiveness is never productive. The easiest fix is to lead with curiosity. Instead of using declarative statements, ask questions to foster a sense of collaboration and teamwork. Asking for clarity helps a colleague feel like you’re taking their issues seriously, and means you can work together to solve problems.
Offering to help someone better understand how to complete a task invites them to do superior work that benefits everyone. When we offer the chance to engage in dialogue that addresses challenges collaboratively, the workplace is happier and more productive.
Clear Communication Benefits All
Having taken all of these concepts in, asked questions about them, challenged them, and put them into action, Alfred’s workplace communication greatly improved.
Alfred’s PIP was successful for a few reasons. The plan took into consideration the gravity of his actions while attempting to contextualize them. Changing behaviors can be difficult, but providing alternative modes of communication can encourage people to adapt. The owners of the business had invested a lot in Alfred and were willing to invest a bit more time and money in helping him be a better communicator. It would have been easy to write off Alfred as a poor culture fit—but they recognized that he brought value to the roastery, while also acknowledging that it was necessary for him to retool his interactions with colleagues to continue growing with the company.
The most important contributing factor to Alfred’s success was his willingness to receive constructive criticism and consider different ways of communicating. Alfred was engaged and able to apply the techniques he learned to the workplace.
Business owners, managers, and HR professionals can learn a lot from how things unfolded with Alfred. Replacing Alfred would not have been easy. Preserving his employment reduced high turnover costs and maintained the standard of service that the company was known for, all while improving their employee experience and setting Alfred up for future success.
